Things were not fine between us and eventually, we broke up which affect my studies and I failed in exams. That was the most terrible phase of my life and I was searching for something that can pull me out from that immense current of depression and anxiety.
The Search Begins
- I googled things like “how to fight depression”, “how to be happy”, “how to grow in life”, “coping with depression” and many other things which are literally horrifyingly gloomy.
- I tried things like “Talking to yourself at least 15 minutes day”,”Start writing a journal”, “Go on the terrace and look up at the sky and talk to the almighty or a celestial being”, “Meditation”, “Gym” and everything you can think of but eventually, nothing worked apart from “talk to yourself” and “start writing a diary”.
When it started
I was happily talking to myself and would’ve never gone for “Start writing a diary” option but some relatives came and I hardly got any time alone to talk to myself. It was the month of December and my father got a diary from one of his friends for the new year and I took it and start writing on it.
Well, now I have got a diary, and a pen but could anybody please guide me how to start? I’ve never written a diary before, I mean I had but I used to write some fiction stories, not my own biopic, so at first, things were very perplexed.
Then I thought, who is here to judge me. It’s my personal diary and I won’t let anyone read this then my future self. So, on the first day of the new year I wrote this:
I know, words, writing, and grammar, everything is substandard but “Who’s gonna judge me based on what I wrote in my personal diary a year before”.
Just remember that no one’s gonna judge you by the things you write on your personal diary.
What Happened Then?
At first, I loved it.
The first thing I used to do after getting home at night was to write on the diary about how my day was. I was falling in love with writing. WAIT! I think I was falling in love with the feeling, that writing made me feel!
Did it help?
Helped!? It cured the depression. Writing in the diary about my day and my thoughts, I realized, “What I really wanted in life and what I was doing wrong and What should I do next and what should I stop now?”.
I met myself
Do you have to write every day?
Well, I used to write every day but not now. Writing every day will make you feel like it’s a work and there’s no meaning in writing a journal if you’re not feeling like it. Nowadays, I only write when something happens or I got some thoughts that I can’t share with one, or what I realized or what I want to say to my future self or just anything.
You were foolish
After a year or 2, when you’ll find one of your journals and read a page from it, you’ll realize how immature and how foolish you were a year before and it’s not a wrong thing. If you’re realizing that you were foolish or immature, then it means that you have matured since then, it means you’re growing in life.
Best Friends? Nah! Much more than that 😉
The journal will be with you at times when nobody else would be.
The people I used to be with a year ago, aren’t even on the 100 top stack of chat messages. Everyone is busy living their own lives but this journal, this is with me and it holds everything that I felt, with whom I was with, where I went, what were my experiences and knows everything I should’ve or shouldn’t have said!
I know all the life you’ve lived is in your memory but trust me, when you will read a page from any of your journals after a year or so, you’ll get a crystal clear flashback of what you’ve been through.
So basically, a pen and a journal can cure your depression. You just have to be honest with them!